Sunlight Amidst the Youthful Shadow

The day I set foot in the new school, the August air was cool, but my heart felt fiery. The uniform was impeccably pressed, my dark hair neatly tied high—this was the image of a brand new Jiang Di, the model student I had painstakingly constructed.

My homeroom teacher led me into class 11A3, and the scrutinizing gaze of nearly forty pairs of eyes fell upon me. I bowed deeply, my voice polite and steady: “I am Jiang Di. I hope for your assistance.” Sparse applause followed, and my eyes unconsciously scanned the room until they stopped at the back row, near the window, where the afternoon sun streamed in like a fateful ray of light.

A boy was leaning on his hand, the corner of his lip curled into a teasing and cryptic smile.

Shen Xuzhou.

In that instant, the blood in my veins seemed to freeze. My childhood sweetheart. How was he here? Three years ago, his family had moved away; I thought they had gone to the big city. I transferred to this small town seeking a fresh start, to escape my chaotic past, to become someone else. But now, the person who knew my entire rebellious history was sitting right in this classroom. I was finished.

The teacher pointed to an empty seat in the third row, instructing me to sit. I lowered my head and walked, trying to maintain composure. But as I passed the back row, a quiet laugh sounded.

“Two-strap backpack, ponytail. Jiang Di, which kindergarten are you trying to play the good student in?” That low, familiar voice was right behind my back.

I clenched my fists, forcing myself to endure. I was a lady now; I couldn’t throw him out the window as I might have before.

I sat down. The girl next to me had a round face and kind eyes. “I’m Zhu Dao. Just call me Daozi.”

I smiled back. I believed I could do this.

The recess bell rang. Before I could rest my head on the desk, a hand rested on the edge of the desk in front of me. On his wrist was a black strap—a birthday gift I had given Shen Xuzhou when we were eight.

I slowly raised my head. Shen Xuzhou stood right there. His appearance immediately drew curious whispers from the surrounding girls.

“New classmate, I think we’ve met before.” He deliberately emphasized the word “met.”

I shook my head, my expression calm. “You must have mistaken me for someone else. We’ve never been acquainted.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Is that so?”

I nodded firmly, my face utterly sincere. “I have absolutely no impression of you.”

Shen Xuzhou chuckled softly, leaning closer. “Then let me help you remember.” He whispered close to my ear, “When you were six, you used a brick to hit Mr. Wang’s dog.” My heart tightened. “When you were eight, you threw my cousin into the river.” A chill ran down my spine. “When you were twelve, you barbecued the principal’s chicken he kept behind the mountain.”

I immediately clapped a hand over his mouth, gritting my teeth as I called his name: “Shen Xuzhou!“

The entire class fell silent, all eyes fixed on us. I quickly withdrew my hand, forcing a strained smile. “Ah, it turns out we’re old friends. I just remembered. Long time no see.”

He straightened up, his eyes still locked on mine.

After class, he blocked my desk again. “Let’s walk together, old friend.”

“No need, I want to stroll around a bit to get familiar with the new school.”

He smiled. “Even better. I’ll be your guide.”

I walked faster to avoid him, but with his long legs, he quickly caught up.

“Why did you transfer here?” he asked. I stayed silent. “What about your group of friends with dyed hair? Where are your piercings?”

I stopped short. “What does that have to do with you?” My voice turned cold.

He also stopped, looking at me in silence.

I continued walking, my tone calm but firm. “Shen Xuzhou, I have my reasons for transferring here. I need to become a good student. So, please, pretend you don’t know me.”

He didn’t reply. I didn’t look back, and simply walked away.

Back at the apartment, my phone rang—it was my mother. She told me to be good and not cause trouble. Since my parents’ divorce, I had been out of control. Three months ago, I caused a big enough trouble to involve the police. My mother, frightened, quit her job and moved me to this small town. She wanted me to study properly. I decided to change for her sake. I just never expected Shen Xuzhou to show up. In front of him, all my pretense felt ridiculous.

My phone rang again, an unknown number. I answered. That irritating voice came from the other end. “Jiang Di, you still haven’t changed your number?”

I hung up. Two seconds later, the phone rang again. I reluctantly picked up.

“What’s wrong? Scared?”

“Who’s scared of whom?” I retorted reflexively, then took a deep breath. “I am a lady. Shen Xuzhou, is there something you want?”

A soft laugh came from the other end. “Nothing, just that your attempt to act like a good student looks quite cute.”

I immediately powered off my phone.

The next morning, during math class, a piece of paper was pushed onto my desk.

Six years ago, you also fell asleep during class and were punished to stand, just like this.

I turned to look at the back row. Shen Xuzhou was sitting up straight, listening to the lecture, but I knew he was chuckling to himself. I crumpled the paper.

During lunch break, I agreed to eat with Pei Lengyi, an upperclassman with a strong, decisive aura. And just then, Shen Xuzhou appeared.

“Where are you two going?”

Pei Lengyi glanced at him. “To eat. Are you planning to tag along?”

He smiled brightly. “Jiang Di and I have known each other for a long time. Of course, I’ll go.”

I glared at him. “We are not close at all.”

“Why not? When we were kids, we even bathed together.”

The surrounding air fell silent. I took a deep breath. “Shen Xuzhou, if you utter one more word of nonsense, do you want me to show you what ‘bathed together’ truly means?”

The moment I said it, I regretted it. These were not the words a lady should say.

Shen Xuzhou only laughed harder. “I told you, you can’t pretend to be good for long.”

Pei Lengyi watched the show, an amused expression on her face. “Interesting. What exactly is your relationship?”

I immediately answered. “Nothing.”

Shen Xuzhou calmly stated: “Childhood sweethearts.”

In the cafeteria, Shen Xuzhou sat opposite me, his eyes following every spoonful of rice I ate. He brought up the past again, saying I used to eat like someone was trying to snatch my food, but now I was slow and gentle. I nearly threw my spoon at him.

Just then, Wen Ruonuo—the class’s ‘White Moonlight’ (First Love)—came over with her food tray. She sat down next to Shen Xuzhou and asked if he was playing basketball that afternoon, her eyes gentle.

Zhu Dao whispered in my ear: “Wen Ruonuo likes Shen Xuzhou. Everyone in our grade knows.”

I acknowledged it. What did that have to do with me?

When walking back to class, Shen Xuzhou followed behind me. He stated directly, “You’re jealous.”

I didn’t bother to reply. He stepped ahead, walking backward facing me. “Don’t worry, I’m not interested in her.”

“Who you like or don’t like has nothing to do with me.”

He smiled. “It does. It concerns you.”

I stopped. “Shen Xuzhou, that’s in the past. We haven’t been in touch for three years. On what grounds do you think things can be the same?”

The smile on his face faded. “Jiang Di…”

I turned and continued walking.

That afternoon, during P.E. class, Shen Xuzhou was truly outstanding on the basketball court. Wen Ruonuo stood nearby, holding water and a towel. After the game, Shen Xuzhou walked over. She rushed to give him the towel and water. He accepted the towel but returned her water bottle. Then, he walked straight to me, took my bottle of mineral water. “Thanks.” He opened it and took a large gulp.

I looked at him. Wen Ruonuo’s expression stiffened for a moment before she quickly recovered her smile.

After school, Pei Lengyi and Zhu Dao dragged me to a milk tea shop. I told them about my rebellious past. Pei Lengyi also confessed to fighting, and Zhu Dao to hitting a bully with a chair. It turned out everyone had their own story. I suddenly felt relieved.

That night, Shen Xuzhou waited for me at the entrance to my residential complex. He handed me a skewer of grilled meat. We stood under the streetlights, silently eating, neither of us saying a word.

When we finished, he asked: “Jiang Di, why won’t you tell me the reason you transferred?”

I looked down. “It doesn’t concern you.”

“If you won’t tell me, I can find out myself.”

I looked up. “Shen Xuzhou, you’re getting too involved.”

“Because I care about you.”

“Three years ago, I didn’t want to move.”

“I know.”

“Then why didn’t you call me even once during those three years?”

“There was nothing worth talking about.” He looked at me, his eyes complex. “Jiang Di, do you still blame me?”

I turned and walked into the complex. Three years ago, I thought the distance between us was too great. He was getting more brilliant, and I was spiraling downward. I didn’t know how to contact him anymore. I cut him off myself.

The next day, the atmosphere at school was strange. An anonymous post on the school forum claimed I had been in fights and disciplined multiple times. My image as a good student was about to crumble.

Wen Ruonuo came to me. She appeared concerned, telling me not to pay attention, that it must be a fabrication, and even offered to help me explain to the teacher. I refused.

During recess, Pei Lengyi dragged me to the rooftop. “I checked. That post was written by Wen Ruonuo.”

I was stunned.

Pei Lengyi sneered. “What other reason could there be? Because of Shen Xuzhou.”

I sighed. “Shen Xuzhou and I really have nothing going on.”

“Then go tell him that.”

That afternoon, a new post appeared on the forum, exposing Wen Ruonuo’s everyday behaviors: badmouthing classmates, stealing others’ homework, and isolating girls. This was undoubtedly the work of Pei Lengyi and Zhu Dao.

After school, Wen Ruonuo called me back, her face devoid of its usual gentleness. “Jiang Di, don’t be too pleased with yourself.”

Shen Xuzhou was standing beside me. “She’s threatening you.”

“Something like that.”

He frowned. “Need my help?”

I laughed. “Shen Xuzhou, when did you become so righteous?”

“Because the right to bully you belongs only to me.”

In the following days, Wen Ruonuo took a leave of absence. I continued to maintain my good student persona.

One afternoon at the milk tea shop, Pei Lengyi asked Shen Xuzhou how long he had been pursuing me.

He calmly replied, “Since I was six.”

I immediately retorted. “Who was pursuing whom?”

He looked at me and stated firmly that he was the one pursuing me. We bickered about childhood incidents: I dug up earthworms, he released them; I tore up his homework, he threw my textbook into the river.

Pei Lengyi thumped the table. “You two have been in love since childhood, haven’t you?”

I: “Not love, more like enemies.”

Shen Xuzhou: “It’s the kind of love that must always clash.”

He smiled, his eyes gradually changing. He said he used to annoy me because he wanted to catch my attention, as I was too mischievous and never paid him any mind.

Pei Lengyi and Zhu Dao got the hint, gently standing up to go buy more food.

Only Shen Xuzhou and I remained. I spoke first. “I never hated you.”

“Then why?”

“I just felt the distance between us was too great. You were getting more excellent, and I was getting worse. I almost ended up in a correctional facility.”

He was silent for a moment. “I know.”

I immediately looked up.

He said he had always quietly kept tabs on me. How many fights I was in, how much trouble I caused, he knew it all.

“Then why didn’t you contact me?”

“You didn’t answer my calls, so why would I contact you?” He reminded me that his mother and mine were close friends. That’s why he was waiting on my first day of school.

“So, what do you think now?”

He laughed. “Your attempt to pretend to be good looks funny, but your core is still the Jiang Di of the past.”

I was embarrassed. “My mother forced me. She said if I wasn’t good, she’d marry me off.”

Shen Xuzhou looked at me very seriously. “Then marry me.”

I was speechless. “Be serious.”

He put on an innocent look. “I am very serious.”

As we left the milk tea shop, Shen Xuzhou walked me home. He said no matter who I used to be, in his eyes, I was always the most wonderful person. “You just took a detour. Everyone does foolish things when they’re young.”

Under the building, he stood under the streetlight. “I will wait for you.”

“Wait for what?”

“Until you’ve thought it through and give me an answer.” He smiled and walked away.

I went up to my room and received a message from him. Good night, my good girl.

The next morning, Wen Ruonuo was back at school, her attitude noticeably colder. After class, I saw her at the end of the hallway.

“Jiang Di, I want to talk to you.”

“What do you want to say?”

“You know I like Shen Xuzhou, right? Can you stay away from him?”

“Why?”

“Because you don’t deserve him. I know what kind of person you are. Fighting, causing trouble, almost ending up in a correctional facility. What right do you have to stand next to Shen Xuzhou?”

I laughed. “Who do you think is suitable?”

“At least someone like me. Decent family, good grades.”

“Sounds reasonable. But this isn’t for you to decide, nor for me. Who Shen Xuzhou likes and chooses is his business. Your standing here saying these things to me won’t change anything.”

“Jiang Di, don’t be so arrogant.”

Back at my apartment, I received a message from Shen Xuzhou, saying Wen Ruonuo had lied; the teacher hadn’t been looking for him. I replied that I knew. A few seconds later, my phone rang. Shen Xuzhou was calling.

“What did she say?” I briefly recounted the conversation.

There was silence on the other end. Then, he said: “I’ll resolve this tomorrow.”

“How?”

“I’ll make it clear in front of everyone.”

“Make what clear?”

His voice came through the phone, deep and firm. “That I like you.”

He said he had waited for me for three years and wouldn’t wait anymore. He didn’t care who I used to be, nor who I was now. The only thing he cared about was that I was Jiang Di.

I sank onto the sofa, my heart racing uncontrollably. He hung up.

The next morning, as I stepped into the classroom, I felt the strange atmosphere. Everyone was looking down at their phones. Zhu Dao immediately ran up to me, asking if I had checked the forum. I hadn’t. She handed me her phone.

The post was pinned at the top of the forum. The title was Shen Xuzhou of Class 11A3’s Love Confession. The content was a short paragraph.

“I like a girl. She used to be a rebel, a mischievous girl who gave my mother headaches. She took a detour, but now she is trying to change to become a better person. I don’t care about her past, because that past created the Jiang Di I love. Anyone who dares to insult her, do not blame me for being impolite. Three years ago was my fault; I let her go. This time, I will not let go. Jiang Di, I love you.”